| Replay |
It's a replay of my life everyday, a motion picture film. Just a movie playing not for its fellow audience but because it has lost track of time and has forgotten when to stop; Report cards are mailed out this Friday. I'm not scared of my parents nor my teachers. I'm scared of the slight possibility of disappointing myself again. There are no second chances in a second chance. I'm breezing by each day like it's merely nothing. It's taken me 3 years to realize I need to go to school. Yet my mind still seems to be on vacation. I. Do. Not. Like. Trying; Especially with something like school. -___- God i'm a failure. Shit I know I'm doing fantastic in most of my classes, but it just doesn't seem enough to me at times. How many times have my parents told me I'm bright but stubborn. How many times have my parents told me I'm a failure? I guess it's at the point where I have a expectation for myself up so high that I don't think I'll ever reach it no matter how hard I try. A great mind, doesn't matter how much beyond their level, is affected by their family settings while growing up. I guess we all have a shitty fucked up childhoods don't we. In these centuries the violence is unexpectedly more cruel then we all seem to ever think or hear about & it allseems to get worse as years pass by. We hear of people senselessly beating or killing innocent bystanders, family members, children, anyone and anything....yet how many times in our lifetime do we actually stop and think about it? It almost feels like a burden to be living in the world today. I want a real home for a change, with people to love and people to care about instead of me being alone in my selfish uncaring state. Please...
|
|
|
|
| Insanity |
If crying made my problems go away, I'd cry everyday. Just to have the little amount of security that maybe everything will be fine. Too bad I'm not a little girl anymore. I've realized not to waste my tears on these little things in life. My emotions and tears have dissolved into a vapor unknown to human kind. Its like I'm slowly going insane, bit by bit. The endless thoughts running through my mind, contradicting each other. Not making sense. It feels like my mind is on overload. I wouldn't mind if one day I woke up not knowing who I am. Maybe then I wouldn't have to face the reality of life. I hate love. The thought of love. The possibility of love. The days of being in love. He was right in the end, it doesn't matter how independent and strong possibly can be... you'll still be vulnerable at one point or another.
Life is a bitch. |
|
|
|
|
Name: Tifae
Located: New York, United States
Nationality: Taiwanese
DOB: September 04th, 1993
About Me: Click
Here
|
|
|
|
|
Love is never easy, we begin by loving the people we can. But it is not long before we find that what we love is other then ourselves, and that our love in no protection against being wounded. Do we then seek to dominate what we love, to make it bend to our will, to stop it from hurting us, even though to do so is to betray love?
|
|
posted by Tifae at 