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I'm still a child. I'm 1OO% clear of that. I can't do shit with my life, because in ways I'm more pathetic then all the troubled kids out there. What can I do? Nothing. Even if I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. All I can do is just sit here and do nothing. Nothing with my life. I've only been back in N.Y for two days and the bickering arguments has already begun. I knew in my heart already that there was no way that my mom would simply agree to letting me go to Taiwan. Yet once again I let my hopes kick me in the arse while I was fallen on the floor crying my eyes out. I mean yes in front of my aunt (her older sister) she would, but back at my house here she would never. She's already threatened me with "oh letting you go to Taiwan is going to be impossible with you acting like this" more then 10times. LITERALLY. She's been only attempting to use that as a tool to get me to listen to her, but the thing is I'm stubborn and saying that to me is just going to make me get more pissed off at her. I have no love for my parents, truthfully. I know what they do for me is out of love. I know that they work their asses off more then 350 days a year more then 12 hours a day to be able to pay for stuff I use and stuff I do. To me that's not enough; It doesn't over rule the SHIT they've done to me my whole entire fucking life I was alive. It doesn't even come CLOSE to canceling out the times they've hurt me purposely and left me there in pain. I've never known what a family feels like, except for these two weeks I spent in Taiwan. I hate it here in NY, knowing that I have a choice, a chance to be able to living my life in Taiwan where I want to spend it. I'm running a test trial tomorrow, just a test trial. & I'll show you the results soon enough; I do believe in my self, I know there are a lot and I mean a LOT of teenagers out in the world believing they can get into the Entertainment business and can't, but some part of me thinks that I'm exactly like them. Yet some of part of me thinks I'm not, and I'll be damn ready to prove to the world that. So starting this summer this is it for me. I'm making an oath, once again like my first one.
Oath #2. Starting from today, I'll do whatever it takes to improve my image, my social skills, my talents. Starting from today, I'll do whatever it takes to get me to my goals and dreams. |
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Name: Tifae
Located: New York, United States
Nationality: Taiwanese
DOB: September 04th, 1993
About Me: Click
Here
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Love is never easy, we begin by loving the people we can. But it is not long before we find that what we love is other then ourselves, and that our love in no protection against being wounded. Do we then seek to dominate what we love, to make it bend to our will, to stop it from hurting us, even though to do so is to betray love?
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posted by Tifae at 